You want a deeper, more personal spiritual life. You know a consistent prayer habit would help, but every attempt to build one ends in failure and frustration. You set an alarm, you buy a new journal, you try for a week, and then… life happens. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
The guilt that follows can be more draining than the effort of trying in the first place. It’s a frustrating cycle, and you are right to seek a way out.
One Redditor on r/AskAChristian perfectly captured this struggle, identifying as “quite ADHD, and terrible at building and sticking with habits/routines,” yet feeling that a prayer routine is the most pressing one to build. This article is for anyone who feels that same tension. We will explore several surprising and impactful takeaways from a mix of ancient traditions and modern experiences that can help you build a meaningful prayer life, even if you’re “bad at routines.”
1. Reframe “Routine” as “Rhythm” by Attaching Prayer to Your Life
Don’t find time for prayer; find prayer in your time.
The most counter-intuitive idea is that a prayer routine doesn’t have to be a new, separate block of time carved out of an already busy day. Instead, it can be attached to the habits you already have—a concept known as “habit stacking.” Instead of forcing a new discipline, you integrate prayer into the natural rhythm of your life.
In the r/AskAChristian discussion, one person found a breakthrough by taking “prayer walks out in nature” because sitting still was tiring, but walking left them refreshed. Another found success by coupling prayer with an activity that is “mostly muscle memory,” which lowers the mental barrier to getting started.
I use my shower time as prayer time. There isn’t anything vying for my attention since shower time is mostly muscle memory for me and it has turned into rich time with Jesus as a result.
This approach works by bypassing the need for executive function—the very thing people with ADHD or who are “bad at routines” find so draining. It releases prayer from the tyranny of the to-do list, allowing it to become part of life’s existing flow, not another task to manage and potentially fail at. It transforms the mundane into a moment of connection.
2. Use Ancient Liturgy as a “Cheat Sheet” for Uninspired Days
On days you can’t find the words, use the words of the saints.
There will be days when you feel unfocused, uninspired, or simply exhausted. The pressure to come up with spontaneous, eloquent prayers can be paralyzing. This is where ancient, structured prayers like the Daily Office can be a lifeline.
This practice has a long and rich history. In the 16th century, the eight daily prayer services used in monasteries were simplified into two main services: Morning and Evening Prayer. This tradition, found in resources like the Book of Common Prayer, is a curated collection of psalms, scripture readings, and prayers tested by centuries of use. It is not a rigid obligation, but a helpful tool. As one Redditor noted, having a structure is powerful on days when you “don’t want to pray.”
This solution is surprising because it gives you permission to lean on a tradition that has sustained people for centuries. It removes the burden of performance and provides a reliable framework, ensuring that even on your worst days, you have a clear path to follow. It isn’t just a crutch for bad days, but a tool that helps to “ingrain it in the heart” over time.
3. Realize Your Prayer Can Be a Single Sentence (Or Just Listening)
Prayer is a conversation, not a monologue.
A common misconception is that prayer must be a long, formal speech delivered to God. This assumption can be intimidating and is often what makes the habit feel unsustainable. The truth is, some of the most profound prayers are the shortest.
One user introduced the concept of a “breathe prayer,” a simple practice of connecting with God throughout the day with a single, focused sentence.
Picking a short sentence (like Lord help me, or Jesus be with me, or Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.), and saying it whenever it comes to mind throughout the day.
This practice also naturally opens up the other half of the conversation: listening. As another person in the discussion wisely pointed out, “You also don’t have to talk all the time. Perhaps sometimes it is also good to just listen to God.”
This is so impactful because it makes prayer accessible in any moment. It redefines prayer not as a performance, but as what one Redditor called a continuous “community with God” that can happen in the car, in a meeting, or in line at the grocery store.
4. Let Your Phone Be Your Monastery Bell
Use modern tools to build an ancient practice.
In centuries past, monastery bells called communities to prayer at set times. Today, the device in your pocket can serve the same purpose. Instead of viewing technology as a distraction from your spiritual life, you can leverage it as a powerful tool for consistency.
Members of the Reddit thread shared several practical strategies. One user sets reminders on their phone to pray, while another recommended “The Bible Memory App” to help stay focused on scripture. For those who prefer physical cues, another user places reminders in places they will be anyway, like the bathroom mirror or the car dashboard.
This is an important takeaway because it’s a realistic, actionable strategy for the modern world. It acknowledges that willpower alone is often not enough to overcome the constant pull of distraction. By using technology intentionally, you can create gentle, consistent nudges that help build the rhythm of prayer into your day.
5. Understand That Honest Complaint Is a Valid Form of Prayer
God can handle your anger, your frustration, and your doubt.
Perhaps the most surprising and profound insight is that complaining to God is not a sign of weak faith; it is a biblically sanctioned and powerful form of prayer. Many of the greatest figures in the Bible—including Moses, Elijah, Job, David, and Jeremiah—brought their rawest feelings of frustration, discouragement, and anger directly to God in prayer.
They didn’t pretend everything was okay. They were honest about their suffering. And how did God respond? Not with judgment, but with empathy and tenderness.
Characteristically He reacted with patient understanding. He understands when suffering saints chafe. He did not kick these complainers when they were down. … He treats us tenderly, as a loving and understanding father treats His distressed and unhappy children.
This transforms our understanding of prayer. It is not about presenting a polished, perfect version of ourselves to God. It is about fostering a deeply authentic relationship where we are free to be fully human. This reframes the entire goal of prayer. It is not a performance to get right, but a relationship to be real in. For those of us haunted by past failures to be consistent, this is a profound liberation: you cannot fail at being honest.
Conclusion: Aim for Connection, Not Perfection
There are many paths to a consistent prayer life, and the goal is not perfect adherence to a rigid schedule but a deeper connection with God. The methods and mindsets that work for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay. The key is to find a rhythm that is authentic and sustainable for you.
As one writer beautifully put it, routines are not meant to be cages that make us feel guilty. “Routine, schedules and patterns aren’t intended to confine our prayer life or make us feel guilty when we don’t follow our original plan. They are created to connect us to God…”
Your prayer life doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. Give yourself the grace to experiment, to fail, and to try again. The goal is not a perfect record, but a present God. Be gentle with yourself as you begin.
What is one small, unconventional way you could open a conversation with God this week?
